honey bunches of taint.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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