Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
