i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Holy shit dude........stairs
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
