You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
