omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize