I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
