He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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