My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
