i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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