there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
