you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize