didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
