he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
