He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
