dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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