so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
