the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
