dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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