Will you blow on my dice?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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