You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
