her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I am available for nakedness
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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