Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I am available for nakedness
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
