I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
