Your mouth is God's brothel.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize