what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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