Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
