So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
