Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
