someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Just high enough for therapy.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
