Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We don't watch enough power rangers
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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