i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
it's like heaven, but drunker
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
