their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
