chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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