Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Randomize
