doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
