i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
