An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
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Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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