Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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