He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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