Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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