I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
