I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
