It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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