just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
