could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
