i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize