I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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