I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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