she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
How drunk are you?
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