i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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