It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
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