SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
