so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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