whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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