Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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