Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she smelled like a LAN party
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
