Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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