So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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