If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
